So many babies

There is an amateur orchestra of crying babies at this recital I’m at, and by recital I ofcourse mean my international flight. There’s 3 of them right next to me. I’m completely surrounded. I’m being triangulated by little demons. They’re trying to compete as to who can preform the most hideous death screech for curdling blood of nearby passengers. When one starts it sets off the other two and it’s been going on for 5 hours.

As I write this, the baby behind me is actively shitting its diaper and I know this not only because of the odor which is unbelievably repulsive but also because the mother is live commentating the process in her best baby voice. “Oo are ya poopin?” “Eww stiiinky” “Ya done?” Baby screams “No? ok tell me when you’re done…” more screams “Eww we gotta change you!” Lord save me